Eigen schuld, dikke bult

it’s your own fault, you had it coming, serves you right
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[ei-gen schuld, dik-ke bult] 

This phrase is used teasingly and says that the person whose own fault it is should have known better, or simply had it coming.

The noun ‘bult’ probably means ‘hunch’ (as in hunchback). The ‘Van Dale Groot Uitdrukkingen woordenboek’ hints that this may date back to superstition saying that hunchbacks were to blame themselves for having a hunchback. In the meaning of ‘hunch’, we also use the word ‘bochel’ and ‘hunchback’ then becomes ‘gebochelde’ (e.g. ‘De gebochelde van de Notre Dame’).

Examples:
“Ik ben misselijk!” – “Eigen schuld, dikke bult! Dan had je maar niet vijf haringen en drie moorkoppen moeten eten!” 
(“I am sick to my stomach!” – “That’s your own fault! (Then) You shouldn’t have eaten five herrings and three ‘moorkoppen’!” My aunt, who likes food, once ate five herrings followed by three ‘moorkoppen’ and wondered why she was sick to her stomach.)

“O jee, ik ga mijn trein missen, nu kom ik te laat voor die vergadering! Wil jij me naar het werk brengen met de auto? Pleeeease??” – “Ja daaag! Dan had je vanochtend maar niet moeten blijven liggen; eigen schuld, dikke bult!” 
(“O dear, I’m going to miss my train, now I’ll be late for that meeting! Can you drive me to work? Pleeease??” – “No way! You had this coming! You should have gotten up this morning instead of staying in bed!” Literally: “Can you take me to work by car?…” – “Yes bye!! Then you shouldn’t have remained lying…” When begging for help or a favour we often use a prolonged and slightly higher pitched ‘pleeease’ 🙂 )

“Els is bij me weggegaan, hoe moet ik nu verder?? Ik kan niet zonder haar!” – “Eigen schuld, dikke bult gozer! Je bent meerdere keren vreemdgegaan; wat verwacht je nou?!” 
(“Els left me, what do I do now?? I can’t live without her!” – “It’s your own fault man, you had it coming! You have cheated on her multiple times; what did you expect (was going to happen)?!” Lit.: “Els has left me, how must I continue?? I can’t without her!”)

Expressions:
– “Het is je eigen stomme schuld”: similar to ‘eigen schuld, dikke bult’. Lit.: ‘it is your own stupid fault’.
– “Boontje komt om zijn loontje”: serves you right!
– “Lekker puh!“: na na na na na!

Related words:
– Schuld: fault, debt, guilt [noun] [de schuld, de schulden].
– Bult: lump, hunch, hump [noun] [de bult, de bulten].

Example:
– “Ik heb mijn hoofd gestoten en nu heb ik een bult!”
(“I hit my head and now I’ve got a bump!”)

– Bochel: hunch, hump [noun] [de bochel, de bochels].
– Gebochelde: hunchback [noun] [de gebochelde, de gebochelden].

Vers van de pers

hot off the press, just announced/published
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[vers van de pers] 

When a book, newspaper or any physical publication has just been released, we say it is ‘vers van de pers’: hot off the press. The phrase is popular due to the rhyme. The adjective ‘vers’ translates as ‘fresh’. Sometimes the phrase is also used to indicate that something has just been announced (or a bit of news has just been released).

Examples:
“Heb jij het nieuwe boek van Arnon Grunberg nu al gelezen?” – “Ja, ik heb hem meteen gekocht toen die uitkwam; vers van de pers!” 
(“Have you already finished reading Arnon Grunberg’s latest book?” – “Yes, I bought it immediately after it was published; hot off the press!”)

“Ik lees de krant tegenwoordig op mijn iPad. Hij is dus nooit meer echt ‘vers van de pers’ maar ik verbruik zo wel minder papier!” 
(“I read the newspaper on my iPad these days. So it’s never really ‘hot off the press’ but I do use up less paper this way!”)

“Wat hoor ik nu, zijn de rayonhoofden bijeengekomen?? Wanneer?” – “Zonet! Het is zojuist bekendgemaakt; vers van de pers!” 
(“What have I heard, have the ‘rayonhoofden’ assembled?? When?” – “Just now! It was announced just a minute ago!” This example refers to the ‘Elfstedentocht‘ fever that’s currently spreading in the Netherlands. This ice skating race passes through several regions in the province of ‘Friesland‘, so-called ‘rayons’, and when the heads of the ‘rayons’ meet, it’s a serious indication that the race may in fact take place. The last ‘Elfstedentocht’ (11 cities tour) was held in 1997.)

“Ik heb een leuk nieuwtje, vers van de pers, wil je het horen?” – “Ja graag! Ik kan wel wat afleiding gebruiken…” 
(“I’ve got a fun bit of news, just heard it, do you want to hear it?” – “Yes please! I could certainly use some distraction…”)

“Geef mij maar een echte ochtendkrant, er gaat niets boven ontbijten met een krant die vers van de pers is!” 
(“I definitely prefer a real morning paper, nothing beats having breakfast with a newspaper (that’s) hot off the press!” Lit. “(just) Give me a real…, there goes nothing above…” The Dutch noun for ‘breakfast’ is ‘ontbijt‘.)

Expressions:
– “Het verspreidt zich als een lopend vuurtje”: it’s spreading very fast (of news).

Example:
“Twee uur geleden was het nog vers van de pers, maar nu verspreidt het bericht zich als een lopend vuurtje en weet iedereen ervan!”
(“Two hours ago it was ‘hot off the press’, but by now the news is spreading fast and everybody knows about it!”).

Related words:
– Vers: fresh, new [adjective].
– Pers: press (equipment), press (the media) [noun] [de pers, de persen]. The plural ‘persen’ only applies to the press equipment. In case of ‘press (the media)’ we always use the article, i.e. ‘de pers’.
– Persen: to press, compress, push, squeeze [verb] [perste, geperst]. ‘Persen’ in the translation of ‘to push’ is used when delivering a baby.
– Drukken: to print (of publication) [verb] [drukte, gedrukt].

Daar kun je donder op zeggen

you can be sure of that, you can bet your life on that
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[daar kun je don-der op zeg-gen] 

‘Donder’ is the Dutch noun for ‘thunder’. It is often used as an expletive and today’s phrase is an example of that. It’s however a perfectly normal expression to use, although probably not in formal communication. You can use this expression when you are sure something will happen. Often it implies you are expecting it based on previous experience.

You can also use the expression in the form: “Je kunt er donder op zeggen dat […]”, see the Examples below.

Examples:
“Als je één klant korting geeft, willen ze allemaal korting; daar kun je donder op zeggen!” 
(“If you give one customer a discount, they all want a discount; you can be sure of that!”)

“Je kunt er donder op zeggen dat als het een paar dagen vriest, er weer over een Elfstedentocht gesproken wordt!” 
(“You can bet your life that when we’ve had a few days of frost, they start talking about an Elfstedentocht again!” Lit.:”…that when it’s freezing for a few days, …” Whenever there are a few consecutive days of frost in winter, the Dutch media start speculating on a potential Elfstedentocht, the last of which was held in 1997.)

“Mijn handbagage is gestolen tijdens het inchecken op Schiphol!” – “Ja, daar kun je donder op zeggen; het is druk, je bent gehaast en gestresst, en dan let je dus niet goed op!” 
(“My hand luggage was stolen during check-in at Schiphol!” – “Yep, that is to be expected; it’s crowded, you are in a hurry and you’re stressed, and that’s when you don’t pay attention properly!” Note the expression ‘binnen de kortste keren’: in no time (at all).)

“Ik was maar 5 minuten weg, kom ik terug bij de auto, heb ik een bon!” – “Daar kun je donder op zeggen, ze controleren in Utrecht aan de lopende band.” 
(“I had only been away for 5 minutes, and when I returned to the car there was a parking ticket waiting for me!” – “That’s bound to happen, they monitor parked cars continuously in Utrecht!”)

“Je kunt er donder op zeggen dat het met een onervaren leraar voor de klas binnen de kortste keren een beestenboel wordt!” 
(“There’s bound to be instant chaos with an unexperienced teacher in the classroom.” Lit.:”… that with an unexperienced teacher in front of the class it will become a hell of a mess in no time!”)

Expressions:
– “Zeer zeker”: most certainly.
– “Zeker weten!”: definitely / for sure!. Lit. “to know for sure.”

Example:
“Ga je voetbal kijken vanavond?” – “Zeker weten man, ik wil het voor geen goud missen!”
(“Are you going to watch football/soccer tonight?” – “Definitely man, I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world!” Lit.:”I want to miss it for no gold!”)

Related words:
– Donder: thunder [noun] [de donder, de donders].
– Donderdag: Thursday [noun] [de donderdag, de donderdagen]. Note that we speak of ‘Day of thunder’ as opposed to “Thor‘s Day”.
Zeker: certain, sure [adjective/adverb].
– Geheid: certain, sure [adjective/adverb].
– Verwacht: expected [adjective/adverb].

Het is geen vetpot

it’s not a fortune, the conditions are poor/miserable
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[het is geen vet-pot] 

‘Pot’ is the Dutch noun generally used for ‘pot’ or ‘jar’. A number of Dutch sayings use ‘pot’ in the context of cooking (‘pots and pans’) and this is one such example. The noun ‘vet’ in ‘vetpot’ means ‘fat’ and I guess that when the ‘pot’ had ‘fat’ in it, life in general was good 🙂 The adjective ‘vet’ is also used in the meaning of wealth (e.g. ‘de zeven vette jaren’: the seven fat years). Nowadays we use the saying when an activity or process does not generate much income/revenue, or when life or conditions are rather miserable.

You may also hear: “dat is geen vetpot” or “het is daar geen vetpot” etc. You will never use the opposite expression (without ‘geen’).

Examples:
“Verdiendt dat een beetje goed, een baan bij de overheid?” – “Nou ja, het is geen vetpot, maar je hebt extra vrije dagen en de stress is minder, en dat is ook wat waard!” 
(“So, does it pay well, working for the government?” – “Well, you won’t make a fortune, but you’ve got extra days of leave and less stress, and that’s worth something too!” Lit. “Does a job at the government earn a bit well?”)

“Het is in India zeker geen vetpot, maar ik heb gehoord dat de middenklasse steeds groter wordt en een redelijk niveau van welvaart weet te handhaven.” 
(“The living conditions in India are rather miserable indeed, but I’ve heard the middle class is getting bigger and bigger and is able to maintain a decent level of prosperity.”)

“Heb je veel geld opgehaald met de collecte?” – “Ik mag niet klagen! Het is geen vetpot, maar genoeg om een verschil te maken! Bovendien is het zo dat alle beetjes helpen!” 
(“Did you raise a lot of money with the charity collection?” – “I can’t complain! It’s not a fortune, but enough to make a difference! Besides, every little helps!”)

“Heb je wat geld opzij kunnen zetten de afgelopen jaren?” – “Ja, zeker wel. Het is geen vetpot, maar genoeg om onvoorziene omstandigheden het hoofd te kunnen bieden.” 
(“Have you been able to set aside some money over the past years?” – “Yes, for sure. Not a whole lot, but enough to cope with unforeseen circumstances.” Note the expression: “het hoofd bieden aan”: to cope with, to resist.)

Related words:
– Pot: pot, jar [noun] [de pot, de potten]. ‘Pot’ is also (derogatory) slang for ‘lesbian’.
– Spaarpot: piggy bank, money box [noun] [de spaarpot, de spaarpotten].
– Binnenlopen: to strike it rich/lucky, cash in [verb] [liep binnen, binnengelopen].

Example:
– “We hebben goedkoop kerstbomen geïmporteerd uit Duitsland en lopen nu enorm binnen door ze te exporteren naar het Midden-Oosten.”
(“We imported Christmas trees from Germany cut-price and are now really cashing in by exporting them to the Middle East.”)

– Verdienen: to earn, to make (money) [verb] [verdiende, verdiend].
– Rijk: rich, wealthy [adjective].

Etteren

to fester, to be a pain in the neck
[verb]
[et-te-ren, et-ter-de, ge-ët-terd] 

The verb ‘etteren’ has two main usages: in the medical sense it is the festering of a wound, but in daily life it is most likely showing annoying and pestering behaviour. Based on the latter translation a number of terms of abuse are in popular use: ‘etter’ (or ‘ettertje’), ‘etterbak’ and ‘etterbuil’, whereas the last one is the only one referring to the medical meaning (with ‘buil’ being a lump or swelling).

Examples:
“Jongens, nu ophouden met etteren daar achterin of we gaan helemaal niet meer naar Disneyland!” 
(“Guys, I want you to stop being a pain in the *** back there or we won’t be going to Disneyland at all!”)

“Het kind van de buren zit al de hele dag enorm te etteren, als dit zo doorgaat doe ik hem nog eens wat aan!” – “Ja, het is inderdaad een etterbakje, maar misschien moeten we het met de ouders bespreken…” 
(“The kid next door has been an enormous pest all day long now, if he continues like this I’m going to hurt him at one point in time!” – “Yes, I agree that he is a pain in the neck, but perhaps we should discuss it with the parents…” Note the use of ‘iemand iets aan doen’: to do something to somebody / to hurt somebody.)

“En nu allemaal luisteren! We gaan zo het museum binnen, en ik wil geen geëtter, iedereen gedraagt zich netjes, is dat begrepen?!” 
(“Everybody listen up! We are about to enter the museum, and I do not want any nuisance, everybody is going to behave properly, is that understood?!”)

“Waarom willen ze niet meewerken dan?” – “Ach weet ik veel, ze lopen expres te etteren. Het zijn allemaal etters daar!” 
(“So why are they not cooperating?” – “Oh I don’t know! They are deliberately being a pain in the neck. They are all a bunch of bastards!”)

Related words:
– Etter(tje): pain in the neck [noun] [de (het) etter(tje), de etter(s/tjes)].
– Etter: pus [noun] [de etter, <no plural>].
– Etterbak(je): synonym for ‘etter(tje)’ [noun] [de (het) bak(je), de bak(ken/jes)].
– Etterbuil: synonym for ‘etter(tje)’ (somewhat less friendly though), or: abscess (medical) [noun] [de (het) buil(tje), de buil(en/tjes)].
Irritant: irritating, annoying [adjective].
– Vervelend: annoying [adjective].
– Recalcitrant: recalcitrant [adjective].
– Balorig: contrary, recalcitrant (mainly of children) [adjective].
– Pesten: to pester/badger/plague [verb] [pestte, gepest].