to make love [verb] [vrijde, gevrijd]

Those of you who have studied Dutch for a while might not have come across this verb yet. The reason is that it is not used much in daily speech. "Vrijen" can just mean "to kiss" (or "to make out", "to neck") but it can also mean "to have sex", but based on love, not just the sex.
The verb is used as a decent equivalent when one does not want or is not able to be explicit. For example, you will encounter it a lot in young girl’s magazines where a psychologist gives them advice on relationships, or in serious talk shows about love and sex.
Other decent alternatives for "vrijen" exist which you can use safely, see ‘Related words’.

In daily speech the Dutch usually just talk about "zoenen", or "seks hebben" ("to have sex"). Of course there are many slang synonyms for "vrijen" or "seks hebben". See ‘Extra’ for a (short) list.

– "Wij vrijen niet meer samen."
("We do not longer make love.")

– "In het park kom je af en toe een vrijend stelletje tegen."
("Once in a while you (will) encounter a kissing couple in the park.")

– "Als je het gevoel hebt dat je er nog niet klaar voor bent, kun je het vrijen met je vriendje het beste uitstellen."
("If you have the feeling that you are nog quite ready for it yet, it’s best to postpone having sex with your boyfriend." Literally: "…, you can the best…")

Related words:
– "Vrijpartij": necking session.

"Na hun heerlijke vrijpartij lag het verliefde stelletje bezweet in elkaars armen."
("After their very good necking session, the amorous couple lay in each other’s arms sweating.")

– "Zoenen": to kiss.
– "Vozen": [slang] to fondle.
– "Seks hebben": to have sex.
– "Seksen": [informal] to (have) sex.
– "Geslachtsgemeenschap hebben": [formal] to have sexual intercourse.
– "De liefde bedrijven": to make love.
– "Slapen met": to sleep with.
– "Het bed delen": literally "to share the bed".

Many explicit alternatives exist for the verb "vrijen" in its meaning of "having sex", usually derived from some kind of similar motion 🙂 The main difference is that these verbs are used when you just talk about the sex and not about the love. Also, many of them are derogatory. Its usage can differ from region to region. It is best not to use these words and first study in which cases the Dutch consider the use acceptable. But we thought you should know them nonetheless.

Here are a few with the literal translations:

– "Neuken": this is probably the best known, however mind that it is very explicit language. Originally "neuken" is a synonym for "stoten" which means "to thrust/knock". Most Dutch people don’t know this however. In modern Dutch it now only has the sexual meaning.

– "Pompen": to pump.
– "Ketsen": to ricochet.
– "Bonken": to bang, to bump.
– "Het doen": to do it.
– "Naaien": to sew.
– "Kezen": to hump.
– "Palen": to ram.
– "Rampetampen": [untranslatable].
– "Rollebollen": [untranslatable, but something like "to roll/tumble"]
– "Wippen": to hop, to lever.
– "Een vluggertje": a quicky.

An innocent expression is:
– "De koffer in duiken met iemand": to dive/jump into the suitcase with somebody.

One thought on “Vrijen

  1. Wahaha!
    Geweldig! Had nog niet gezien dat jullie het inmiddels ook over die boeg gooien!
    Pompen Ketsen Bonken Het doen Naaien Kezen Palen Rampetampen Rollebollen Wippen Een vluggertje.
    Goeie site trouwens, is echt heel mooi geworden. Ook knap die continuiteit…ga door!!

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