Het is geen vetpot

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it’s not a fortune, the conditions are poor/miserable
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[het is geen vet-pot] 

‘Pot’ is the Dutch noun generally used for ‘pot’ or ‘jar’. A number of Dutch sayings use ‘pot’ in the context of cooking (‘pots and pans’) and this is one such example. The noun ‘vet’ in ‘vetpot’ means ‘fat’ and I guess that when the ‘pot’ had ‘fat’ in it, life in general was good :-) The adjective ‘vet’ is also used in the meaning of wealth (e.g. ‘de zeven vette jaren’: the seven fat years). Nowadays we use the saying when an activity or process does not generate much income/revenue, or when life or conditions are rather miserable.

You may also hear: “dat is geen vetpot” or “het is daar geen vetpot” etc. You will never use the opposite expression (without ‘geen’).

Examples:
- “Verdiend dat een beetje goed, een baan bij de overheid?” – “Nou ja, het is geen vetpot, maar je hebt extra vrije dagen en de stress is minder, en dat is ook wat waard!” 
(“So, does it pay well, working for the government?” – “Well, you won’t make a fortune, but you’ve got extra days of leave and less stress, and that’s worth something too!” Lit. “Does a job at the government earn a bit well?”)

- “Het is in India zeker geen vetpot, maar ik heb gehoord dat de middenklasse steeds groter wordt en een redelijk niveau van welvaart weet te handhaven.” 
(“The living conditions in India are rather miserable indeed, but I’ve heard the middle class is getting bigger and bigger and is able to maintain a decent level of prosperity.”)

- “Heb je veel geld opgehaald met de collecte?” – “Ik mag niet klagen! Het is geen vetpot, maar genoeg om een verschil te maken! Bovendien is het zo dat alle beetjes helpen!” 
(“Did you raise a lot of money with the charity collection?” – “I can’t complain! It’s not a fortune, but enough to make a difference! Besides, every little helps!”)

- “Heb je wat geld opzij kunnen zetten de afgelopen jaren?” – “Ja, zeker wel. Het is geen vetpot, maar genoeg om onvoorziene omstandigheden het hoofd te kunnen bieden.” 
(“Have you been able to set aside some money over the past years?” – “Yes, for sure. Not a whole lot, but enough to cope with unforeseen circumstances.” Note the expression: “het hoofd bieden aan”: to cope with, to resist.)

Related words:
- Pot: pot, jar [noun] [de pot, de potten]. ‘Pot’ is also (derogatory) slang for ‘lesbian’.
- Spaarpot: piggy bank, money box [noun] [de spaarpot, de spaarpotten].
- Binnenlopen: to strike it rich/lucky, cash in [verb] [liep binnen, binnengelopen].

Example:
- “We hebben goedkoop kerstbomen geïmporteerd uit Duitsland en lopen nu enorm binnen door ze te exporteren naar het Midden-Oosten.”
(“We imported Christmas trees from Germany cut-price and are now really cashing in by exporting them to the Middle East.”)

- Verdienen: to earn, to make (money) [verb] [verdiende, verdiend].
- Rijk: rich, wealthy [adjective].

Etteren

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to fester, to be a pain in the neck
[verb]
[et-te-ren, et-ter-de, ge-ët-terd] 

The verb ‘etteren’ has two main usages: in the medical sense it is the festering of a wound, but in daily life it is most likely showing annoying and pestering behaviour. Based on the latter translation a number of terms of abuse are in popular use: ‘etter’ (or ‘ettertje’), ‘etterbak’ and ‘etterbuil’, whereas the last one is the only one referring to the medical meaning (with ‘buil’ being a lump or swelling).

Examples:
- “Jongens, nu ophouden met etteren daar achterin of we gaan helemaal niet meer naar Disneyland!” 
(“Guys, I want you to stop being a pain in the *** back there or we won’t be going to Disneyland at all!”)

- “Het kind van de buren zit al de hele dag enorm te etteren, als dit zo doorgaat doe ik hem nog eens wat aan!” – “Ja, het is inderdaad een etterbakje, maar misschien moeten we het met de ouders bespreken…” 
(“The kid next door has been an enormous pest all day long now, if he continues like this I’m going to hurt him at one point in time!” – “Yes, I agree that he is a pain in the neck, but perhaps we should discuss it with the parents…” Note the use of ‘iemand iets aan doen’: to do something to somebody / to hurt somebody.)

- “En nu allemaal luisteren! We gaan zo het museum binnen, en ik wil geen geëtter, iedereen gedraagt zich netjes, is dat begrepen?!” 
(“Everybody listen up! We are about to enter the museum, and I do not want any nuisance, everybody is going to behave properly, is that understood?!”)

- “Waarom willen ze niet meewerken dan?” – “Ach weet ik veel, ze lopen expres te etteren. Het zijn allemaal etters daar!” 
(“So why are they not cooperating?” – “Oh I don’t know! They are deliberately being a pain in the neck. They are all a bunch of bastards!”)

Related words:
- Etter(tje): pain in the neck [noun] [de (het) etter(tje), de etter(s/tjes)].
- Etter: pus [noun] [de etter, <no plural>].
- Etterbak(je): synonym for ‘etter(tje)’ [noun] [de (het) bak(je), de bak(ken/jes)].
- Etterbuil: synonym for ‘etter(tje)’ (somewhat less friendly though), or: abscess (medical) [noun] [de (het) buil(tje), de buil(en/tjes)].
- Irritant: irritating, annoying [adjective].
- Vervelend: annoying [adjective].
- Recalcitrant: recalcitrant [adjective].
- Balorig: contrary, recalcitrant (mainly of children) [adjective].
- Pesten: to pester/badger/plague [verb] [pestte, gepest].

Manusje-van-alles

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factotum, dogsbody, odd-job person, jack of all trades, mr/ms fixit
[noun]
[het ma-nus-je-van-al-les, de ma-nus-jes-van-al-les] 

A ‘manusje-van-alles’ is somebody who can do different jobs. It is often used derogatory for somebody who is basically almost ‘misused’ to do all kinds of stuff, but it can also be a positive statement saying that somebody is a jack of all trades. Somebody who’s good at the odd jobs around the house, DIY or home improvement is sometimes also called a ‘manusje-van-alles’.

Manus is a somewhat old-fashioned name in the Netherlands exclusively used for men, however ‘manusje-van-alles’ (little manus of everything) can be used for both males and females. It is an example of a ‘samenkoppeling’ (compound word) that has become a common expression with a meaning of its own. In Dutch, such cases are hyphenated.

Examples:
- “Wat doe jij eigenlijk voor werk, je werkt toch op een kantoor?” – “Ja, dat klopt. Ik ben een beetje een ‘manusje-van-alles’; ik doe receptiewerk, vergadernotulen, ik organiseer bijeenkomsten en één dag per week zit ik bij PZ.” 
(“So what kind of work is it that you do, don’t you work in an office?” – “Yes that’s true. I’m a bit of the office factotum; I work at the reception desk, I take meeting notes, I organize meetings/assemblies and one day a week I do HR work.” Lit.: “… and one day a week I sit with HR”. Note the abbreviation ‘PZ’: personeelszaken (‘personnel matters’). You also often hear ‘HR’ these days (pronounced in English).)

- “Hé, ik hoorde dat jullie hier hulp nodig hebben, wat kan ik doen?” – “Te gek! Even denken… Zou je het erg vinden om het manusje-van-alles te zijn? We hebben eigenlijk overal een beetje hulp nodig: schuren, schilderen, gaten in de muren vullen…” 
(“Hey, I heard you guys need some help over here, is there something I can do?” – “Cool! Let me think… Would you mind being the odd-job person? We kind of need a bit of help everywhere: sanding, painting, fill gaps/holes in the walls…”)

- “Ik vind dat Frank iets meer is dan het ‘manusje-van-alles op kantoor’; hij heeft echt veel talenten! Hij is in feite een duizendpoot!” 
(“I think Frank is a bit more than just the ‘office dogsbody’; he is a man of many talents! As a matter of fact, he is a jack of all trades!” The Dutch word for centipede is ‘duizendpoot’ which literally means ‘thousand leg’.)

Related words:
- Duizendpoot: centipede, jack of all trades [noun] [de duizendpoot, de duizendpoten].
- Handige harrie: Mr. Fixit, somebody who’s good at home improvement [noun] [de handige harrie, de handige harries]. Although ‘Harrie’ is a name, we are no longer talking about a guy named ‘Harrie’ but a type of guy, which is why we don’t capitalize ‘harrie’.
- Persoonlijke assistent: personal assistant [noun] [de assistent, de assistenten].

Het is welletjes geweest

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I’ve had about enough, let’s call it a day/night, it’s time to quit
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[het is wel-le-tjes ge-weest] 

The adjective ‘wel’ translates as ‘well’ (as in ‘feeling well’) or ‘good’ (as in “all’s well”). You often see in colloquial Dutch that adjectives are turned into plural diminutives. Impossible by definition, but common nonetheless :-) The adjective that is created this way takes on the meaning of ‘quite/somewhat/rather [original adjective]‘. Examples are: ‘magertjes’ (somewhat meagre), ‘povertjes’ (quite poor), ‘stilletjes’ (rather quiet). When you say it has been ‘welletjes’, you are saying that it has been quite enough (or satisfying). You can use it in different ways, see the Examples.

Another common phrase is: “Het is welletjes” or “Het is zo welletjes”. You may even hear: “Het is wel welletjes (zo)” :-)

Examples:
- “Mensen, het is welletjes geweest, we gaan naar huis want we moeten morgen weer vroeg op.” 
(“People, we’re calling it a night, we’re going home because we have to get up early again tomorrow.”)

- “Massimo, jij nog een biertje?” – “Nee bedankt gozer, het is welletjes geweest, ik moet zo nog rijden.” 
(“Massimo, would you like another beer?” – “No thanks mate/dude, it’s time to stop (drinking), I still have to drive.” Note it’s common to say ‘ik moet nog rijden’, meaning you have to drive a car later that evening.)

- “Nee, ik wil niet doorverbonden worden naar een andere afdeling! Ik ben al vijf keer doorverbonden, het is welletjes geweest, ik eis dat ik nu fatsoenlijk geholpen wordt!!” 
(“No, I don’t want to be put through to a different department! You have put me through 5 times now, I’ve had about enough, I demand that my issue/complaint is properly treated!” Lit.: “I have been put through five times, …, I demand that I’m helped decently!”)

- “Ja dag, het is welletjes geweest. Ik heb je nu een paar keer geholpen, het wordt nu echt tijd dat je het een keer zelf oplost!” 
(“No way, enough is enough. I have helped you out a few times now, it’s about time that you solve it yourself for once.”)

Related words:
- Wel: well, good [adjective].
- Welletjes: quite enough [adjective].
- Goed: good [adjective].
- Genoeg: enough, sufficient [adverb].

Spiksplinternieuw

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(brand) spanking new, spic-and-span
[adjective]
[spik-splin-ter-nieuw] 

When something is brand-new, in Dutch we say it is ‘gloednieuw’ or ‘splinternieuw’. The latter says: ‘as new as a splinter’, fresh splinters being indicative of a wooden object being brand-new (in the old days I guess). The ‘superlative’ of ‘splinternieuw’ is ‘spiksplinternieuw’; the word ‘spik’ is a corruption of the word ‘spijker’: nail. So it is as new as a fresh splinter and a nail straight from the forge :-)

Read more about the etymology in Extra below.

Examples:
- “Als u zich vandaag nog registreert, maakt u kans op het winnen van een spiksplinternieuwe auto!” 
(“If you register by today, you have a chance to of winning a spanking new car.”)

- “Goedemiddag, ik kom aangifte doen van diefstal van mijn fiets.” – “Dat is niet zo mooi meneer.” – “Nee, dat is zeker niet zo mooi, want hij was spiksplinternieuw!” 
(“Good afternoon, I have come to report the theft of my bicycle.” – “That’s unfortunate sir.” –  ”That is very unfortunate indeed, because it was a brand-new bicycle!” Note that ‘dat is niet zo mooi’ is used colloquially.)

- “Hoe was je date met Sabina?” – “Heel geslaagd. En ze zag er fantastisch uit; ze droeg een spiksplinternieuwe jurk!” 
(“How was your date with Sabina?” – “It went very well. She looked fantastic; she wore a brand spanking new dress.”)

- “Ik ben vanmiddag m’n spiksplinternieuwe handschoenen kwijtgeraakt; ik baal als een stekker.” 
(“This afternoon I lost my brand-new gloves; I’m really pissed off about it.”)

- “Mijn spiksplinternieuwe iMac is nu al kapot, het ziet er leuk uit dat Applespul, maar de kwaliteit laat ernstig te wensen over.” 
(“My spanking new iMac broke down already; Apple stuff looks great but the quality is mediocre.” Literally: ‘… but the quality seriously leaves to wish for.’)

Related words:
- Nieuw: new [adjective].
- Splinternieuw: brand-new [adjective].
- Gloednieuw: brand-new [adjective]. You may also encounter the colloquial ‘gloedjenieuw’.

Extra:
Regarding the use of ‘spik’, which is a corruption of ‘spijker’ (nail), German readers may recognize a similar origin in the adjective ‘nagelneu’ (as new as a nail) although we don’t have ‘spiknieuw’ or ‘spijkernieuw’ in Dutch. The ‘spic’ in English ‘spic-and-span’ has similar roots as ‘spijker’; compare English ‘spike’. The ‘span’ in its turn is derived from ‘span-new’ which has its origin in old Norwegian ‘spánnýr’. The Dutch word related to ‘span’ is ‘spaander’ which is basically a very big splinter (wood chip).