count me out, I'm out, I don't want any part of it 
[Dutch phrase of the week]
[Geef mijn portie maar aan Fik-kie]
In this phrase "Fikkie" is a dog and it seems to be the name of choice when referring to a random dog 🙂 A "portie" is a "portion/dose/serving", so when you no longer want to participate or be a part of it, you give your share to… the dog.
Usually you use this phrase when talking to somebody else about whatever it is you quit.
Examples:
– "Ja dag! Mooi niet, geef mijn portie maar aan Fikkie!"
("Forget it! No way, you can count me out!" In this case "dag" is pronounced with a prolonged "a".)
– "Ik heb echt alles geprobeerd, maar niets wat ik doe is goed. In haar ogen blijf ik een hufter. Nou weet je, als het zo moet, geef mijn portie dan maar aan Fikkie."
("Really, I have tried everything, but everything I do is wrong. In her eyes I remain a bastard. Well you know, if this is the way it's going to be, then I don't want any part of it!" Lit.: "…, but nothing I do is good".)
– "…En nu doet hij alsof het allemaal zijn idee was! Nou ik kap er mee, geef mijn portie maar aan Fikkie!"
("…And now he pretends it was all his idea! Well, I quit, he can count me out!")
– "Als jij in de achtbaan wil, prima, maar mij niet gezien; geef mijn portie maar aan Fikkie!"
("If you want go for a roller coaster ride, fine, but rather you than me; you can definitely count me out!" Lit.: "If you want to go in the roller coaster…" "Achtbaan" ('eight track') is the general word used for roller coasters and the name refers to the "eight shape".)
Expressions:
– "Mij niet gezien": literally "not seen me" you can say this when you don't dare to do something and/or when you rather leave it to somebody else.
Related words:
– Portie: portion/serving/dose/share [noun] [de portie, de porties].
– Hond: dog [noun] [de hond, de honden].
– Geven: to give [verb] [gaf, gegeven].
Is Fik also a nickname in The Netherlands?
In Belgium “old dogs” of the local village, or wherever, (like DWOTD’s own infamous Frank) may become known as Fik. In my wife’s home village for example one of the local characters is Fik van Kreppen.
I too seem to have acquired this sometime nickname ever since I nearly had my hand bitten off when I tried to stroke a dog sitting outside the local beenhouwerij…:-(
I’m not aware of Fik being a nickname in The Netherlands and can’t think of a specific name that is used similarly… When it is not Fikkie the dog, it’s usually used colloquially for “fire”. Which is totally different 🙂
I don’t know about other English speaking countries, but in the US, to refer to a random dog, one uses Spot, Rover, or Fido.
I’m a Dutch native, well educated and good communication skills but I have never in my life heard of this phrase.
The author of this weblog must live in Amsterdam I think because this is truly ‘Jordaan’ slang.
Hi Phil – thanks for your comment. Indeed, language can be very region specific (and sometimes even closely linked to a certain period in time). I actually knew this expression from before my move to Amsterdam 😉
Not every expression we cover is necessarily widely in use, sometimes we cover it when we think it’s a fun expression, or just to prepare our readers to understand what is being said. In case of rare usage, we assign the category GURU to the word.
We do have the rule that (in principle) words and expressions must be listed in the Van Dale, which is the case for good old Fikkie.
To break into this discussion after a couple of months (just discovered this site and having fun with it), as a northerner (Frisian) I’ve heard (and used!) this expression many a times.