Ik heb met hem te doen

I feel sorry for him Iconspeaker_3
[Dutch phrase of the week]

5344612871_40eaf88962_z“Met iemand te doen hebben” does not translate as “to have to do with somebody” but as “to feel sorry for somebody” and implies you feel empathy for that person. Today’s phrase with “hem” is just an example of its usage, see the examples below for more. It’s quite common to emphasize with the word “echt”: I feel really sorry for him.

Note that the Dutch also use the word “sorry”, but then as an “excuse me” or a weak “I apologize”. Infamous is the “sorry hoor!” 🙂
(Photo: The Pug Father (flickr.com) – some rights reserved.)

Examples:
– “Simons vriendin heeft het uitgemaakt en nu zit hij in de put. Ik heb echt met hem te doen.” 
(“Simon’s girlfriend broke up with him and now he feels really down. I really feel sorry for him.” Lit.: “and now he sits in the pit/hole/well.)

– “Annelies had net een nieuw fietsje gekregen en toen werd het direct dezelfde dag gestolen! Ik had zo met haar te doen…” 
(“Annelies just got a new bicycle and then it got stolen the exact same day! I felt really sorry for her.” Note that the use of “fietsje” implies that Annelies is a child.)

– “Al die gestrande reizigers op het vliegveld… Je zou er maar 4 nachten moeten slapen; ik heb met ze te doen.” 
(“All those stranded travellers at the airport… Imagine having to spend 4 nights there; I feel sorry for them.” Literally “je zou” translates as “you should” but is also often used as in this example.)

– “Na al die jaren nog steeds geen promotie, het is een schande, ik heb met je te doen hoor!” 
(“After all these years still no promotion, it is a disgrace, believe me I feel sorry for you!”)

Related words:
– Medelijden: pity [noun] [het medelijden, <no plural>].
– Meeleven: to feel for, to empathize with [verb] [leefde mee, meegeleefd].

Example:
– “Wij hebben enorm met de slachtoffers meegeleefd.”
(“We really empathized with the victims.”)